After highs and lows took their toll, Chelsea Stoltenberg exits coaching ranks with gratitude
· Yahoo Sports
Mar. 26—BEMIDJI — For 22 years, Chelsea Stoltenberg's life has revolved around college basketball.
But now she's ready to take a step back.
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A native of Watertown, South Dakota, Stoltenberg started playing collegiately at Augustana in 2004. She parlayed that opportunity into a shot at becoming a coach with the University of Sioux Falls after graduating from Augie in 2009.
Stoltenberg went from a graduate assistant to a full-time assistant coach with the Cougars. She took things another step further in 2015 when she took the Bemidji State head coaching position.
After 11 years with the Beavers, Stoltenberg resigned from her position following the 205-26 season, a campaign in which BSU went 9-17 and missed the NSIC Tournament for the fourth year in a row.
"I'm stepping away from something I thought I was failing at in the aspect of wins and losses," Stoltenberg said. "Losing takes a toll on student-athletes and their health. I'd rather serve people in a healthier manner instead of coming up short in wins and losses."
Stoltenberg resigned with a record of 85-197. She went 56-175 in Northern Sun Intercollegiate Conference games with the Beavers.
"I just kind of lost the energy to keep coming up under par," she said. "I think having humility and knowing it's not just a job for me, either we win more often or I can't do this anymore for my health and for the health of the program moving forward. It was a good time to step back and be a wife and mom, be more present and healthier."
Three years into her time at Bemidji State, Stoltenberg was named a senior women's administrator. She will keep that role.
"I've had the opportunity to serve on a lot of committees in the (NSIC)," Stoltenberg said. "I've learned a lot and networked a lot. And it's great to just be an assistant again. To not be the one in charge but to assist and mediate and help, it's just really refreshing. It's something that I've done, but it's nice to finish out here and do it at a larger capacity."
Today's world of collegiate athletics would be unrecognizable to the Stoltenberg (then DeVille) who started her coaching career at USF.
Long gone are the days of guarantees in the college ranks. It's become so rare that when a class enters and graduates from a school together, it's a cause for celebration.
While the infusion of name, image and likeness (NIL) opportunities, revenue sharing and the transfer portal give players more control, it regularly comes at the expense of small-college programs.
Stoltenberg — and her NSIC counterparts, for that matter — understands that holistically. She expressed her frustrations with the current landscape of college sports in a candid conversation with the Pioneer.
"Division II kind of feels like (junior college sports) now, where you bring women and men in and if they succeed, there's money on the other side of that," Stoltenberg said. "The opportunity is just an assumption now. You look at the (NSIC) women's players in the transfer portal, it's the best of the best. They're going bigger, better, different and greener.
"It's really, really hard because the coaches develop. They work their tails off recruiting. You develop. You build it, and then it's really hard to see people step away. It's heartbreaking for coaches at every level. I have 15 friends in this league as head coaches, and every time one of their players goes in, our hearts skip a little bit because we know how crushing it is to see your athletes leave you."
Players dipping their toes into the NIL and transfer portal spaces is often conflicting for coaches. On one hand, another school that has more to offer gets to reap the benefits of what it didn't develop.
On the other hand, coaches like Stoltenberg grow close with their players, and seeing them get opportunities they didn't have during their initial recruiting process comes with a semblance of pride.
"You see someone in our league who's above and beyond, and you're just waiting for them to go in the portal," Stoltenberg said. "They can go play in the Summit (League). They can go play in the Big Ten. They've proven themselves at the collegiate level, so D-Is are going to take a chance and give them a look, because our league's the best of the best. I'm too thin-skinned for it."
Even within the NSIC, BSU faces challenges that other schools don't.
"Our kids aren't on full-ride (scholarships)," Stoltenberg continued. "They don't have a big, shiny gym. We are who we are and we love that. We could sell that and keep that 10 years ago. But now, it's just really hard to re-recruit your own women when you know they should be on a full-ride. Even some schools around our league have NIL money and opportunities. Being behind the eight ball is never easy, but it's what the world of athletics is right now, and probably will be for a very long time until the bubble bursts."
While Stoltenberg's perspective on coaching has changed with the times, she was very clear in saying that Bemidji State is still a school for a women's basketball coach to garner consistent success at. She also said she's talked with several "really good coaches" about the vacant position.
"It's still possible. I truly believe that," Stoltenberg said. "For me, if this were year four or five, I'd have the energy and the drive to say, 'I can do this.' But obviously, I've been given more time than I think a lot of coaches with my record would've gotten. It felt like a disservice to my family and my mental health because of how much I wanted to win. The lows are low, and the highs don't last too long for me anymore."
After Stoltenberg informed Bemidji State of her decision to resign, one of the first texts she sent was to former director of athletics Tracy Dill.
"He gave me my first shot and has checked on me every year since," she said before praising current AD Britt Lauritsen for her same amount of care. "To have a new AD come in and do the same thing — check on you as a human being and make sure you're OK, knowing that times are tough and resources are thin as heck — it was good to have that support."
It's those relationships with current and former players, coaches and administrators that made Stoltenberg's resignation feel like ripping off a Band-Aid.
"It's what makes you wake up," Stoltenberg said. "In those tough years where you're going on a losing streak and it's negative 40 degrees outside, it's pretty amazing to know that when you walk in the gym, your players are your medicine. They show up with their goofy personalities. They get you through things whether you know it or not. Whatever I do next, I can't really get that in the same way I did when I was coaching. It's what keeps you in it and makes it hard to get out of it."
Stoltenberg is excited to get her weekends back for the first time since she was in high school. She's eager to pop over to the BSU gymnasium to watch the Beavers as a fan. Her nephew, Jaxon Boschee, will play for the Bemidji State men's basketball team next season as a freshman. Jaxon's siblings — Caden, Brayson and Avary — could soon play varsity sports at Bemidji High School.
"I'm really excited to be a fan," Stoltenberg said. "It's obviously a self-serving decision for myself and my family — and the right one. I feel so much relief that these women and coaches who come back to Bemidji State are going to get a great coach. I'm excited to keep my gear and stay a fan."