Tome And Plume: Finding The Perfect Fade At The Barber’s In Bhopal
· Free Press Journal
Bhopal (Madhya Pradesh): I must go to the barber's, monsieur, for methinks I am marvellous hairy about the face.
Visit h-doctor.club for more information.
—William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night’s Dream
A haircut in Bhopal for a person over 60 years is boring, like queuing up for a gas cylinder. Well, if you are a newcomer to the city and visit a salon for the first time, the hairdresser is set to throw a quizzical glance at you as if you were from another world with an untrimmed, greying crown.
Worse, if your beard is slightly long and has a translucent structure, the inquisitiveness in the coiffeur’s look deepens. You may feel as though you were Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s Ancient Mariner coming straightaway from the hull of a ship or a figure created by artificial intelligence. These days, let’s not be amazed at meeting our lookalikes on roads, at shops, in markets, or even on hospital beds because ours is an AI-dominated world; the word "surprise" has little scope.
Most of the hairdressing salons are crowded with greenhorns, busy with their mobile phones, and waiting for their turn to come for a haircut. You feel odd among them. Such a feeling saddles your thoughts more when you have nothing to do but wait at the hairdresser’s salon for your turn for a haircut. The crowd around you is mostly students and busy with their mobile phones, like honey bees buzzing around their hive.
A few magazines and daily newspapers, once available at the coiffeurs’ shops, have become things of the past. Few, especially the youngsters,
sift through them. Nor do they need any printed material to go through to enhance their knowledge, as they have all the information at their disposal and just have to click on their mobile phones. But one thing is clear: the days of shaving mugs are not yet over, as you may still find such antique pieces in a few hairdressing shops in the city.
So, you have nothing to do and cannot even request the hairstylist to relieve you early from the burden of your silver locks, as he is unknown to you.
Anyway, the coiffeur, holding scissors, gradually pays attention to you, saying, “Uncle, baith jaiye. Aye bachchon, chair khali karo (Uncle, please sit down; children, leave a chair for him). You suddenly feel honoured, thinking you are about to get relief from the burden of waiting, but that will not happen, as your man of the hour will not let it go the way you want it to.
The coiffeur then begins to speak, advising you to visit his shop on Mondays, as it remains full on Sundays, and because you seem to be a newcomer, you may not be acquainted with the exact timings of visiting a hairdresser’s shop in Bhopal. But the hairdresser does not stop, thinking you must be enjoying your post-retirement life. He may even say, since you have a little work to do on other days, the right time to visit the shop is Monday.
Meanwhile, one of the boys leaves a chair for you, pulling a face, but after standing for over 10 minutes, when you get a chair and sit, you feel relaxed, barely bothering about the boy’s grimace at you. Then the barber begins to get closer to you, rattling off several questions about your family, how long you have been living in the city, how many children you have, whether you own a house or you are living in a rental, and the list is long.
It reminds you of the Talkative Barber of the Arabian Nights in Kashgar, who annoys the Sultan by talking nonsense without shaving him. It is difficult to stop a babbling barber. So goes the saying. You may ignore his queries. Finally, your waiting ends when the hairdresser’s shop is almost empty, and your newfound friend, the coiffeur, calls you for a seamless blend.
Arup Chakraborty
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