How to survive the 2026 NFL season
· Yahoo Sports
So, you’ve decided to watch the National Football League. Congratulations! You have chosen to watch what appears to be the Los Angeles Rams Invitational.
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They traded for Myles Garrett. Aaron Donald got off his retirement rocking chair. And it wouldn’t surprise you if Les Snead had Marshall Faulk and Henry Ellard on emergency standby. It’s not fair, and it would be really boring. Last year, we had intrigue. Nobody was picking the Seattle Seahawks or the New England Patriots.
If the Seahawks make it back-to-back, that’ll be impressive. If the Patriots return to the Super Bowl, it’s going to make for an awkward Valentine’s Day for Mike Vrabel.
Mike Vrabel reportedly wanted to initially defend Dianna Russini’s reporting ethics https://t.co/5KNdEbUar4
— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) September 7, 2026
So why tune in for 2026?
We’ll see if the Rams finish with the league’s best record only to lose in the playoffs on a special teams error. We’ll see if the Aaron Rodgers-Mike McCarthy union leads to a playoff victory for the league’s oldest team. We’ll see if Patrick Mahomes, Lamar Jackson, and Joe Burrow can return to the postseason. We’ll see if the infamous substation will further wreck the San Francisco 49ers by causing a plunging satellite to fall on Brock Purdy.
— Electrical Substation (@SCSubstation) August 28, 2026
What’s new
The first regular-season NFL game in Australia: The San Francisco 49ers and the ams will play their season opener in Melbourne. That’s a long way for the league to go to outsource its entertainment. At least, Nick Bosa will learn more about the Down Under.
10 coaches will make their debuts: Jerry Glanville wasn’t kidding when he said the NFL stands for “Not For Long.” There was massive turnover: Joe Brady (Buffalo), Jeff Hafley (Miami), John Harbaugh (New York Giants), Klint Kubiak (Las Vegas), Mike LaFleur (Arizona), Mike McCarthy (Pittsburgh), Jesse Minter (Baltimore), Todd Monken (Cleveland), Robert Saleh (Tennessee), and Kevin Stefanski (Atlanta). Of those hires, Brady is the only one promoted from within. The former Bills offensive coordinator takes over a good team with a great quarterback in Josh Allen.
Highmark Stadium: The Buffalo Bills have a new stadium, and it’s fair to say the results are mixed at best. There have been complaints about obstructed views. The Bills are already replacing the grass field. The video boards are reportedly small. Guess $2.2 billion doesn’t go as far as it used to.
New onside kick rule: When the NFL introduced the dynamic kickoff in 2024, it also changed the onside kick rule. You could attempt only one in the fourth quarter when trailing, and it had to be declared beforehand. Now teams can declare an onside kick at any time, whether they are losing or winning.
These guys have retired: Nick Chubb, Teddy Bridgewater, T.Y. Hilton, Justin Simmons, Stephon Gilmore, Darius Slay, Ryan Kelly, Adam Thielen, Robert Woods, Rob Havenstein, Philip Rivers (again).
“I don’t know much about Australia…I think there’s some nature exhibits to check out.”
— Matt Lively (@mattblively) September 2, 2026
Nick Bosa hasn’t done his research for his trip. pic.twitter.com/flZJlKOhoq
Is the Super Bowl window closed for the Kansas City Chiefs?
Probably not. But it looks like the Kansas City Chiefs are at least a year away from championship contention. Patrick Mahomes is returning from a major knee injury. He lacks legitimate top-tier pass-catching threats, and the defense is extremely young. Kansas City has too many questions and too few answers right now. It will be interesting to see whether the Chiefs make a late-season acquisition of another wide receiver (Tyreek Hill?). If Andy Reid and Steve Spagnuolo can squeeze out 12 victories, that would be impressive.
The verdict: The Chiefs are a wild-card team that gets knocked out in the division round by the Cincinnati Bengals.
Shortly after his knee surgery, Patrick Mahomes returned to Kansas City with a new objective: He wanted to walk before his 11-month old daughter, Golden.
— Sam McDowell (@SamMcDowell11) September 4, 2026
A deep dive inside his past 274 days and a “remarkable thing to watch” (free to read):https://t.co/t1OKG0Bsz7
The most interesting division in football: the NFC North
Forget the NFC West. Yeah, we know. It’s tough. However, for real intrigue, take a look at the NFC North. You can make a plausible case for any team in that division to finish first or last. In 2025, every team finished with a winning record.
The Detroit Lions, who went 15-2 in 2024, finished last at 9-8, and their once-great offensive line is in transition. The Minnesota Vikings might have the most complete team, but is Kyler Murray washed up? The Green Bay Packers could be good if Micah Parsons returns from injury soon. The Chicago Bears are the reigning champions, but even coach Ben Johnson admits they are the ‘No. 1 regression candidate‘ because of their luck with turnovers last season.
Packers officially moved Micah Parsons to Reserve/PUP, ruling him out for this season’s first four games. pic.twitter.com/dHzh0xRXcJ
— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) August 30, 2026
Guys with something to prove
Kyler Murray, QB, Vikings – Kyler Murray is the best bargain in the league. He’s earning only the veteran minimum, so the Vikings have the seventh-least expensive quarterback room. That means Minnesota has been able to allocate cap dollars to other positions of need. With wide receivers Justin Jefferson, Jordan Addison, and Jauan Jennings, along with tight end T.J. Hockenson, Murray should flourish.
Aaron Donald, DT, Rams – Yes, Philip Rivers returned at age 44 after a four-year absence. But this is a completely different situation and position. Aaron Donald, who hasn’t played since 2023, is being counted on as the final piece of a Super Bowl contender at 35. The physical demands of line play aren’t easy to regain. Expect the Rams to ramp him up gradually for the postseason.
C. J. Stroud, QB, Houston Texans – The last time we saw C.J. Stroud, he was having one of the worst playoff games in NFL history. In last year’s postseason, he fumbled five times, losing two, and threw three interceptions in two games. Since winning the 2023 Offensive Rookie of the Year award, Stroud has steadily declined. Now he’s seeking a new contract with a team that should be good enough to reach the AFC Championship.
Jared Verse, DE, Cleveland Browns – Since Deshaun Watson will never justify his ridiculous contract, let’s look at another Browns player. Verse will forever be known as the guy Cleveland got in the Myles Garrett trade. While the Browns also received three draft picks, they need Verse to be good right now. He’s 25, a two-time Pro Bowler, and the 2024 Defensive Rookie of the Year. He can’t replace Garrett, but he can be a solid contributor.
A.J. Brown, WR, Patriots – Howie Roseman is arguably the league’s best GM. For him to trade away A.J. Brown says a lot. Brown is essentially unguardable, making his lack of chemistry with Jalen Hurts even more perplexing. Now, Brown is paired with Drake Maye, the NFL’s top deep passer last year. If he can’t make it work with the Patriots, he has no one to blame but himself.
Rams’ special teams players – If not for several special-teams gaffes, the Rams might have won the Super Bowl last year. The most infamous was the bizarre two-point conversion in the late-season loss to the Seahawks. Even if you excuse that, the Rams still allowed a 58-yard punt return for a touchdown in that same game. Special teams mistakes played a role in three of the Rams’ defeats, including a memorable blocked field goal returned for a touchdown against the Philadelphia Eagles.
“Bernie Parent protected the goal posts” today
— John Clark (@JClarkNBCS) September 22, 2025
Text from a friend after the Eagles got two blocked field goals in the fourth quarter to beat the Rams
pic.twitter.com/bgWLyfyDqV
10 things that may happen…
- At least three different quarterbacks will start for the Browns
- Jeremiyah Love will have 35 carries for 80 yards and three touchdowns in a loss for the Arizona Cardinals.
- A.J. Brown will be spotted reading Am I the Only Sane One Working Here? on the Gillette Stadium sidelines.
- Sean Payton will immediately take back play-calling duties after the Denver Broncos start 1-5.
- The Seahawks will sweep the Rams but still finish second in the NFC West.
- Jaxson Dart and Cameron Skattebo will take an ill-advised boat trip with Odell Beckham Jr. right before a season-ending loss to the Eagles.
- Travis Hunter will be a below-average cornerback and a below-average wide receiver, making that trade with the Browns look even worse.
- Dallas defensive coordinator Christian Parker will be the league’s hottest coaching candidate after fixing the Cowboys’ defense.
- Harrison Butker will make an NFL record 69-yard field goal vs. the Las Vegas Raiders.
- After the New York Jets are eliminated from the playoffs in November, Aaron Glenn will immediately go into hibernation.
Somebody probably alerted Jets HC Aaron Glenn that he’s asleep on live television. #NFLpic.twitter.com/VxqNpzcMai
— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) February 26, 2026
Awards
MVP: Joe Burrow (Cincinnati Bengals)
Offensive Player of the Year: Justin Jefferson (Minnesota Vikings)
Defensive Player of the Year: Kyle Hamilton (Baltimore Ravens)
Comeback Player of the Year: Kyler Murray (Minnesota Vikings)
Offensive Rookie of the Year: De’Zhaun Stribling (San Francisco 49ers)
Defensive Rookie of the Year: Rueben Bain Jr. (Tampa Bay Buccaneers)
Coach of the Year: Kevin O’Connell (Minnesota Vikings)
Super Bowl LXI will be a rematch of Super Bowl LVI: The Los Angeles Rams over the Cincinnati Bengals.
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